Izzie doing the cha-cha slide

Izzie loves to dance. Before, it was limited to some head bopping, but now Izzie can really get down and she grooves whenever she hears any kind of music. Her favorite seems to be the Cha Cha Slide. We can never get the real thing recorded, but here is a slight glimpse. Whenever we whip the camera out (even when we try to be discreet), she knows something is up, and she holds back - but you get the idea.

After Izzie attempted to self feed herself with a spoon

The big update!

Hey everybody!

Okay here it is! The last few weeks have been crazy busy. Of course, our little girl is back with us, and Al and I were super busy. Izzie did great on the plane ride back with my parents and our nanny. She was very tired when she got off the plane, but she instantly perked up when she saw the apartment. Usually Izzie gets a little bit shy when she goes somewhere new, but I was relieved to see that she still remembered the apartment.

We spent the next week or so trying to get Izzie back on New York time. I am really bad with jet lag, so I really sympathized with Izzie. She would be so tired during the day, but we kept her up, and she would crash for her naps, only to be waken up after a couple hours. And at night, she'd be ready to play. It was really hard (I felt like I had a newborn again), but I was super proud that she took less time than me to get over it.

She definitely changed a ton while we were apart. The first thing I noticed that when she said "umma" and "abba" (mom and dad in Korean), she really enunciates. I really want to get this on video sometime, but she'll call out "Um-maaaaaa!". She knows exactly when to wave good-bye now and will do it unprompted whenever somebody leaves the room. She learned how to bow hello the Korean way and as evidenced in the pictures above, everytime you say "Hello?", she'll take whatever object she is holding and lift it to her ear like a telephone. I've taught her how to give kisses and we're working on teaching her how to blow kisses. She can also say "Annyung!" (Hi or bye in Korean).

Izzie is still not the gourmand that we hope her to be, but her eating has gotten a lot better. The other day, I cut up some kimchi and mixed it in with some Kalbitang (Short rib soup) and oatmeal, and Izzie ate it! I was one proud Korean mommy. She'll still pick waffles, crackers and cheese over anything else - but at least we are making progress.

One huge thing that she did yesterday for the first time was Izzie went both #1 and #2 in her potty. We are not potty training, but I do like to keep her diaper off often (also evidenced by the picture above). There is nothing like healing/prevention of diaper rashes with some sun and fresh air. Yesterday, I could see that Izzie wanted to go, so I promptly put her on her potty, and she went! I was really surprised that I feel like I should research Elimination Communication (google it) a little bit more.

I'm also happy to say that the worst of Izzie's stranger anxiety has seemed to pass. We've dropped her off at the church nursery the past couple weeks, and she did not cry one tear while we were gone. She also lets other people hold her now (given that Al or I am close by). We feel like we can let other people babysit her now! So, please offer!

I've gone back to work this past week, so I feel like things are really back to normal now. We're back in our routine, and hopefully it'll stay this way for awhile. Al will be graduating this May, so I am already stressing out about moving. The apartment rental market has been coming down, but I still think Manhattan prices are ridiculously high. Living close to Al's work is a must though, so we are not leaving the city, and we are hoping to stay on the Upper West Side. I am also realizing that we need to buy a lot of furniture (our current dorm came furnished), and then in New York, there is the ridiculousness of paying a ton in "closing" costs for leasing an apartment, although I am hoping that we can cut a deal given the current economy. Oy vey. I know things will work out, but my head is spinning!

Anyhow, we'll go back to doing frequent posts about Izzie now.

Thanks for being patient!

Do not abandon us yet!

HI everybody!

We've been MIA for the last couple of weeks, trying to get everybody (read: Izzie) settled in to our normal routines, but we're back. And we have a lot of posts coming up.

So stay with us.

Gorilla Mommy, Gorilla Baby

Not much to say, except Soph and I really miss Izzie!

Izzie, You're 13 Months Old Today!

Dearest Izzie,

Congratulations, you turned 13 months old today! Today is different from all of your other monthly updates, since this is the first time that you’re not physically with us. You’re in Korea with your grandparents, as mommy continues to recover from Radioactive Iodine Treatment. We wish you were here, but mommy just got nuked, and it’s not safe for you to be around her. But worry not – it sounds like you are having lots of fun in Korea and doing just fine. We’ll reunite soon; you’re coming back this Friday.

This month was kind of a weird month. You were out of New York the whole time. We spent your birthday and Christmas in California, and then New Years Day in Korea. With all the traveling and transition, we didn’t get a chance to observe too many of your developments. We were just happy you were able to get over the jet lag.

You started playing with your toy piano, which plays different children songs when you hit the keys. That’s your favorite activity in Korea, and your mother hopes it’s a sign that you’ll be musically inclined in the future. She wants to buy a real piano for you once we move. Your biggest event in Korea was your Tol; that’s the party we threw to celebrate your first birthday. Hopefully, the Tol marked the end of your stranger anxiety; you met a lot of people that night, but didn’t freak out. As sad as we are that you’re no longer completely attached to us, we’re happy that you’re taking this step in your social development.

Well, this next month and year should be interesting. We’re gonna try to encourage you to walk. We also bought a lot of books that we’re going to read to you, and we also bought some wall posters which will help you learn some new words. If you haven’t figured it out yet, having us as parents won’t be easy! But guess what! Life ain’t easy. Anyway, we’ll be sure that you’re having fun and enjoying your toddlerhood too.

Oh, and there’s no picture this month. We thought it was symbolically appropriate, since we can’t see you right now. But soon, that will change! Really soon! We can’t wait.

Love,
M+D

Silly Peekaboo

One of Izzie's favorite games is Peekaboo. She is pretty good at it now. Once she gets her hands on any kind of cloth or fabric, she immediately starts to play. I love to hear and see her laugh, so she was using Albert's head to play peekaboo with me. I busted out the camera to see if I could capture the goodness - but of course, once the camera was out Izzie was distracted. Still... cute video.

Chejudo

Chejudo is an island south of Korea. Awhile ago, my parents had bought some land in a relatively remote part of the island, and after many trials and tribulations, they finally finished building their incredibly petite but wonderful vacation house. I was excited to visit the island again (Al and I went there for our honeymoon part 1) and finally see the house.

Its been awhile since we've really Ergo'ed Izzie around. She's developed this habit of sticking one arm out - something I wasn't particularly fond of because of the cold weather:


We had lunch at the absolutely beautiful Podo hotel. The view:


I cannot say enough about Izzie's spectacular high chair behavior. Give the girl her cheerios and she is the happiest clam ever:


We went out for morning jogs around our vacation house:




On one of our morning jogs we were able to see the sun rise (no clouds):

Car Habits

We retired Izzie from her infant seat when she was about 9 months. She was just too tall for the seat. I was sad, because changing to a convertible ended the era of cab rides for our family. Obviously, in Korea, we took a car everywhere, so Izzie got a lot of carseat action. She soon developed habits of her own. As soon as we strapped her in, first order of business was taking her socks off. Next? Put said socks in her mouth.

Sigh.... my beautiful weirdo daughter....

Meeting up with Great - Grandpa!

One of the most meaningful things that we did in our trip to Korea was taking Izzie to go see my grandfather in Taegu, Korea. As many of you know, my grandmother passed away quite suddenly a few months ago, and I was (and still am) sad that she never got to meet Izzie. First we visited my grandmother's grave site. I was not able to go to the funeral for my grandmother - there are no words about seeing your grandmother's grave except that it was incredibly surreal. I still almost don't believe that she is gone.



After that we headed over to meet my grandfather. This is when Izzie's stranger anxiety was still at a peak, so I was concerned with how she would do with my grandfather. Amazingly enough, she loved him! No tears whatsoever. I plopped her down on my grandfather's bed, and she started playing with the table, trying to wreak havoc in her own cute way, and even held his hand at one point. It was so incredibly special.

Christmas in California

So, quick update on me. I officially go into isolation today. I've spent the last couple days in the hospital running tests and then preparing the apartment for my isolation. Isolating oneself while living in a teeny tiny 1 bedroom apartment in New York is no easy task. I bought all new cheap sheets that I am just going to toss afterwards and the room is stocked with water and gatorade and sour candy.I'm ready to go!

I miss Izzie a lot. Her absence is really really felt - the apartment is so quiet without her. I now realize how much your life revolves around a baby..without her, Al and I have so much free time! We'll try to take advantage of that after I'm out of my isolation by going out on dates, but we can't wait for Izzie to come back!

Christmas in California was so great. After 5 years of Albert and I dating/married, this is only our second Christmas together. Our first Christmas with each other was also shared with our first Christmas with Izzie. I remember last year's Christmas vividly - I was worried sick about Izzie not eating and I was such a mess because breastfeeding was not going well. Look at how far we've come in one year!

For Christmas Eve, we had dinner at Albert's aunt and uncle's house. We had a ton of delicious food and this is when I really started to realize what a great high chair baby Izzie is. You just put her in her chair and give her some waffles or cheerios and she is happy as a clam! I hope this lasts forever! Here is a picture of the family including Al's grandparents. That is 4 generations of family right there!


A picture of the whole extended family, including Izzie:


Dimsum! I like that Izzie is checking out Al's mom:


Unfortunately, our Fremont trip coincided with the peak of Izzie's stranger anxiety. In an attempt for her to get close to the family we would all get into a circle and play often.


Christmas morning brunch:


Opening presents. Izzie got so many fun ones!


Izzie and Albert's dad's birthdays are 1 week apart, so the day before we left we celebrated both.


Our week was so short in California, and I always feel this tug of nostalgia when I go back. I always say "New York girl for life, but California girl at heart", but whenever I do go back to California it makes me want to move back! We don't have any planned trips back yet, but we hope we'll go back soon!

Izzie's Tol Celebration

Hola loyal blog readers!

We are officially back from our hiatus. As many of you know, we are leaving Izzie in Korea with my parents for a few weeks. She will be taken care of by my parents and our nanny, while I am back in New York taking care of myself and (finally) getting back on the healthy track. I have a lot of pictures to sort through and a lot to update, but I think I'll update one event at a time, while Albert and I are apart from Izzie. It'll be a good thing to look back and see my girl again while I'm probably missing her a ton.

In the meantime, I wanted to give a quick update on the amazing birthday party Izzie had here in Korea. In Korean culture, Tol or the FIrst Birthday is a really big deal. Back in the old days, infant mortality was not so great, so when a baby reached one year old, naturally there was a big celebration.

One of the main events of the tol celebrataion is the "Toljabee". You lay some items in front of the kid and let her choose whatever attracts to her the most. The item the kid chooses supposedly gives insight as to the child's future. Izzie had several items laid in front of her:
Rice = Propserity
Thread = Long life
Golf Ball = Golf player
Pencil = Scholar
Stethoscope = Dr
Money = Prosperity also...

I am telling the MC that I want Izzie to pick the golf ball. Hey! She totally could become the next female Tiger Woods:


Izzie went for the stethoscope first:


Izzie picked the pencil next. So I guess she's going to become a MD- PhD!


Albert thanking the guests for coming. I thought it was totally hilarious that Izzie's hat was covering her face:


Blowing out the candles and cutting the cake:



A family picture:

Happy New Year Everybody!

Happy 2009 everybody! We had a fabulous past few days (along with a lot of pictures). It is difficult to update this thing when we're away from home. The past few days we did a lot of fun things:

- We opened Christmas presents in Fremont with Izzie
- Izzie had some birthday parties in Cali
- We took a 13 hour international flight to Korea (Izzie gets an A+)
- Izzie has adjusted to Korean time beautifully. (I am a different story)
- We visited my grandfather who recently became widowed. Izzie hid the fact that she has extreme stranger anxiety, and totally chilled with my grandfather
- We also met up with a lot of extended family on my mom's side.

Whew! And now we're off to vacation to Chejudo. I need to be more deliberate about taking pictures, so my goal is to take many many pictures on our mini vacation today.

Happy New Year!

Izzie, You are 1 Year Old and Merry Christmas!

From 12 MOnths

From 12 MOnths

From 12 MOnths

From 12 MOnths

Dearest Izzie,

Last Friday you turned 1 year old!This letter is coming to you slightly late because we have been traveling for the last few days (something you are a total pro at doing now).

We don't even know where to start. It really does seem like yesterday that we took you home from the hospital. You were this itty bitty thing. The first few weeks were rough on all of us. You see, you're our first kid, so we really had to learn everything about taking care of you. However, you're alive, happy and healthy now so I guess we didn't do too bad of a job, right?

Lets talk about some of the major milestones you've met in the last month. You're now officially a pro at pulling yourself up and cruising. We always say that you're always a bit hesitant to try new things, but once you start doing things you do it very very well. We feel like you'll be walking before we know it.

You've also finally started to self-feed. Until now, you were only interested in feeding the person feeding you (some good reciprocal action going on here), but one day you figured out that you could feed yourself your favorite cheerios and waffles. Since then, you refuse to give us any of your food. You've also become somewhat of a gourmand, so you won't eat any old pureed baby food. Mommy started cooking her famous chicken soup - and you've become quite a fan of it. You also started drinking whole cow milk - something that you liked right away.

You still only have 4 teeth, but we can tell that you have a LOT (at least 4) more that you're working on. We had to bust out your bibs once again, and you are always chewing on your fingers or anything that is within your reach. We hope that those pearly whites will be making an appearance really soon.

This past month, you've decided that your favorite people in the world are Mommy, Daddy and your nanny. Your development of stranger anxiety is very apparent and you get very shy around new people. Dropping you off at the church nursery has become a challenge, and you were somewhat traumatized by all of your birthday parties. We spent the last couple of days with your Fremont grandparents - at first you were a bit wary, but now you've warmed up to them, and you'll show them your signature Izzie smile.

This upcoming year will be very interesting. You'll be getting your first stamp on your passport as we are visiting Mommy's side of the family in Korea. Everyone is so excited to meet you. You'll also be staying with your grandparents for a few weeks without Mommy and Daddy. Don't forget about us!! (We don't think you will.) You'll have to don your big snowsuit, since Korea is even colder than New York. And after that, it'll start once more. We'll go through the winter and wait for the weather to warm up; except this year, we'll be able to take you out a lot more, and you'll really be able to actively enjoy the warm weather more. We are SO excited about seeing you grow next year. We want to talk with you, dance with you and take you to all of the cool places around the neighborhood.

So I guess this birthday is both happy and sad. We're going to miss our little Izzie; we're going to miss you poking our faces in the morning to wake us up; we're going to miss the fun you have from peekaboo; we're going to miss how you depended on us to do everything for you; we're going to miss trying to get you to sleep in the bathroom with the faucets all turned on. We're going to miss so many things - but we also look forward to all of the new things we'll experience together in the upcoming year.

We love you!

And Happy Birthday!

From 12 MOnths

Love,
M+D

As our nursing relationship comes to an end....

Where to start... where to start?

Back in college, I was on a bus in Berkeley. There was a mom on the bus and she was nursing her child - and I was horrified. It just made me cringe and I just recoiled thinking "Eeek! I just saw a boob!" I thought the concept of breastfeeding was so weird.

Fast forward a few years later, I am pregnant and I'm sitting in a newborn care class and the teacher (this being a Bradley class) goes on and on about the benefits of breastfeeding. She says that she breastfed for a year and I remember thinking, "Wow! One year is a long time!" I honestly don't think I had a strong opinion otherwise. I definitely wanted to do it, but I figured if it didn't' work out formula would always be a great backup.

I was not prepared for how determined and passionate about breastfeeding I would become once I started. Memories of when Izzie was born are dominated with the troubles we had feeding and the intense and immense worries I had about her not eating enough. Feeding was going fine in the hospital (a lactation consultant checked us out), but once we got home things started going downhill. My milk came in on day 4, and she had trouble latching on. Being the sleepy newborn she was, not eating enough just made her even more sleepy, and that made her eat even less - downward spiral if you will. I started pumping like a madwoman, barely getting 0.5 ounces after pumping for 20 - 30 minutes. We broke the cardinal rule of no bottles for the first month and started giving what little milk I had in a bottle. She had to eat, even if it was from a bottle. Our first days at home were filled with me pumping and willing my milk to come in while nervously asking Albert "Is she eating? Is she eating?" I have logs that tracks every ounce that she ate and all of her dirty diapers. Thankfully, all that pumping did increase my supply, but after getting used to the bottle, Izzie didn't want to nurse from me.

The lactation consultant put me on a strict schedule of attempting to nurse, then bottle-feeding Izzie (since she wasn't getting that much from me), then pumping. Every 2-3 hours. And when I say every 2-3 hours, I mean start to start. So I was getting almost no rest, and still emotionally distraught that she wasn't eating enough (also, I was really hormonal). I wanted to quit many, many times. But I was determined. After many attempts, Izzie finally "got" it, and she started nursing like a pro and things got a lot easier.

Not that it was complete smooth sailing since then. I suffered through many clogged ducts (ouch) and breastfeeding is just not easy when you have to wake up multiple times during the night and you're the only person that can feed and take care of your child. However, I think the initial tough weeks with nursing really made me appreciate the fact that I was able to nurse and I should cherish it. And then after the cancer diagnosis, it made me really realize how much I love it and emotionally attached to it I was. Initially, the doctors thought my cancer was a lot more serious and they said after surgery I had to wean immediately to get my post-op treatment. I was completely and utterly devastated. Seriously. Through all the cancer crap, the thing I was most upset about was the prospect of having to stop breastfeeding. It sounds crazy - but thats how I felt. Of course, the happy ending is that the path report was super good and the doctors let me postpone my post-op treatment until January.

Which is next month.... Over the past 2 months I have slowly been weaning and I am now down to one nursing session which I will drop very very soon (I can't bring myself to say when it is going to be specifically). I have a host of emotions going through me. I am proud and sad, happy and regretful.... I really really wish I could've gone longer. The past few days, Izzie has been sick with a cold and major teething, and the only thing that would comfort her was nursing. I'm sad that I wont' be able to provide that for her any longer. Nursing is also one of the major ways that I "mother"ed her - what am I going to do now that I don't? I know mothering is so much more - but I'm a little scared! I'm also proud that I made it this far. You might be weirded out by nursing, but isn't it amazing that for the majority of her life I was her source of nutrition - I made her grow! I think thats a miracle! I also feel extremely blessed - a lot of mothers don't have the opportunity to do what I did... so I'm extremely grateful.

So thats it.. I just wanted to record my thoughts so that one day I'll look back and think "Man, I'm proud of myself!"

Thanks:
to Albert and our wonderful Nanny
I would NOT have been able to make it
One Whole Year
without your help
with everything

More Pictures for Birthday Party

Thanks Heather for the pictures!

Poor stranger-anxiety ridden Izzie. Do you see the tear on her face?


Here is Izzie in her dress:


An attempt at a picture of the two babies. I don't think Albert took it too personally:


Izzie enjoying her presents:


After the crying and clinging, Izzie finally warmed up to the crowd:


Thank you, friends, for celebrating with us.

Birthday Party #1

This past weekend we held Izzie's first birthday party right here in New York. Here are some of the decorations and food:



Albert and I had a great time. We really realized what a great community of close-knit friends we found here in New York, and we felt so incredibly grateful that we were able to share Izzie's first birthday with them all.

Unfortunately, I did not get good pictures once the party started (although we got a lot of good video). Little Miss Izzie is hitting the peak of her stranger/separation anxiety these days, so she was a little bit overwhelmed with the festivities. I couldn't take any pictures because Izzie was clinging on to me the whole time! Here is one where you can see a teensy bit of her dress (so cute). You can't see it that well, but there is a huge giant tear on her face also:


Some of our guests:


Man, how do I feel now that Izzie is nearing her first birthday? I'll save the elaborate details until her 1 year post, but I can say that the feeling is bittersweet. I'm so happy that she is healthy (minus this nasty cold that is taking over her life right now), happy and such a great little girl and I can not wait to see what the future has in store for her. I'm looking forward to having conversations with her and witnessing what kind of a person she will grow into. However, she is no longer that little newborn that depended on me and Albert for everything. Day by day, she grows more and more independent and she needs us just a little bit less... and that makes me wistful and a teensy bit sad. So there you go - I'll save the total melancholy for later. =]

Izzie's First Chair

Today was birthday party #1 for Izzie (post with pictures to come later). In the morning, we surprised her with her very own chair that was gifted by Al's parents (thanks!). She loved her own little chair! You can't see it in the video, but it is personalized with her name and everything. Izzie is one lucky little girl!

Izzie is Raising Da Roof

Izzie must be a Rah - because she loves to dance! It started with this shaking move while she was sitting, and now that she is standing up she likes to boogie down in that position. What is amazing, is she will actually move to the beat of whatever song is playing.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!

Eating Shenanigans

Our little Miss Boo Boo might not be one yet, but she sure is entering into toddlerhood. Gone are the days where she'll sit quietly in my lap. Now she can't sit still and just MUST explore her surroundings. Before, if she was playing with something that was no good (dangerous) and we redirected her - no problem. Now she will protest and protest till no end. A big challenge has been mealtimes - the girl will just not sit still and eat a meal. Mealtimes have officially been stretched to 1 hour, and it takes copious amounts of distraction, patience and love to get through them.

I finally got the idea to feed her in the kitchen. Everytime she got bored, I handed her a different utensil. Izzie turned out to really dig the tupperware lids. She had a lot of fun with that AND she finished her dinner that night.