Early Morning....

Excuse the dark lighting. This was taken really early in the morning - and I was desperate to just get a shot of her smiling... no time to flip on the lights!

For those that have been wondering what our sleeping schedules are like:

1. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a row since I gave birth. I've slept for 4 hours straight less than 5 times. Most of the time I sleep somewhere between 2-3 hours at a time
2. Albert stays up all night. He reads and does work all night. Everytime Izzie wakes up, he changes her diaper and brings her to me. I nurse her and then Albert takes her back to burp her and put her down to sleep again. This is when she's having a good night. A bad night is when she won't conk out after the feeding and she is either cranky and wants to play.
3. Al sleeps during the day and then goes to class while I get up for the day anywhere between 6 am and 8 am. And the cycle of eating, burping, playing napping starts again.

Fussy nights can be tough at times. Once I slightly lost my patience towards Izzie - I was tired and she was being really cranky. Izzie was crying and flailing her arms and legs and I quietly but firmly said to her, "I'm annoyed at you!" Of course the next morning I felt really bad, and spent 10 minutes apologizing to her how it was unfair for me to get annoyed at her. Hopefully this is a parenting practice I can continue - when I make a mistake, own up to it and apologize.

I read about all these other babies that are starting to go on a schedule and are sleeping for 4-5 even 6 hour stretches at night. I've probably done everything I can to get her to sleep better at night - and nothing works. And then I read in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that babies just aren't able to physically organize their night sleep until they're about 6 weeks past their due date. All the day waking, loud music -- doesn't work until babies can start producing their own sleep hormones. I've also found it useless to forcefully wake her up during the day so she'll sleep more at night - all this does is make a cranky overtired baby. I decided to believe in the principle that good sleep begets good sleep. Reading that was a huge relief, because I no longer felt like a failure not being able to get my child to sleep longer at nights. Also, it puts thing into perspective - the poor kid CAN'T sleep for a long time yet. I figured, she'll learn how to do it in her own time.

Well today is EXACTLY 6 weeks past her due date. Already the past couple days have been easier. She no longer wants to play at night, but is content with just feeding, burping and going back to sleep. Of course, I don't get my hopes up, because our Izzie is nothing if not inconsistent. But seriously. When she wakes up and smiles at you like she's doing in the picture above - its all worth it. So cliche, but so true.